Reading Offline: Elephants on Acid: And Other Bizarre Experiments
by Alex Boese
Really odd book about various "scientific" experiments, some gruesome, many just insane. Have't yet gotten to the elephants on acid part, but am definitely freaked out by the "let's decapitate an animal and try to keep just the head alive" chapter. Ugh.
Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay
by Nancy Milford
I never read much of Millay before, but Milford wrote a really interesting biography of Zelda Fitzgerald, so I was interested to see her next book. Still in the first chapter, but the prolog was amusing in itself. I always appreciate reading the background of how the author started on the book.
Kitchen Confidential Updated Ed: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly
by Anthony Bourdain
I gave this to Jon as a gift a while back and only just recently remembered I never did borrow and read it myself. Am very amused so far. Sadly it's not the updated edition I've linked to - preface in our copy's dated Nov. 2000. Wonder what's been added/changed/corrected.
The New Kings of Nonfiction
by Ira Glass
Collection of nonfiction articles previously published in various magazines. Bought a while back in an airport and there are still a few articles I haven't finished reading. I really liked the Bill Buford article that became Among the Thugs.
...About?...
Batgrl is a pop culture junky who loves to mess about with cameras and video games. And is constantly amused by Jon, who she did honest and truly did meet online. Though she's been blogging since the '90s, evil sp@m'rs managed to break the old blog, and thus there's only more recent stuff here. (No great loss, actually!)
Jon is possibly tweaking some of his photos. Staying alert for postings. ...But none online yet.
Will post my last photo Saturday batch tomorrow I think.
The 50 most popular celebs on Twitter
Murad Ahmed, The Times Online, February 2, 2009
I've mentally filed Twitter into the same folder as Facebook as Things I'm Not Bothering To Join As I Have No Need. (At the moment anyway.) This doesn't mean that I don't read the Twitterings of others. I find the text limit rather interesting, and this list of Popular Twitterfolk is something that's kept me surfing through links for a few hours while listening to podcasts.
To get a Twitter story I'd honestly find interesting you have to have a sort of pop cultural mash up of personalities occur. Such as this vignette: Jonathan Coulton is playing in San Francisco. His friends Paul and Storm are his opening act. Paul twitters to Adam Savage, of Mythbusters fame, and invites him to the show. Turns out Savage is a fan, goes to the show, and voila, a photo of them all meeting up. The idea of Uber Geek gods Coulton and Savage being mutual fans is something I find charming.
(Ok, this isn't really well written enough on my part to be a vignette - I just wanted to use the word vignette. Scrabble was not involved in this sudden irrational urge for word usage.)
Other links - Adam Savage's Twitpics. And Jonathan Coulton's. Part of me thinks this is fun - and part of me feels like I'm reading someone's mail without asking.
In other words, business as usual online...
In other randomness according to a past Twitter, Savage and I were both perusing CakeWrecks recently. I admit it - I am fascinated with the idea of putting Darth Vader and baby on a cake. Honestly, it's a combination that would never have occurred to me, even in my most surreal moments. ...So, is that baby's Darth's? A relative? Or is he godfather?
The following is the kind of thing that needs to happen much, much more often. Preferably around me when I have a camera handy:
Hacked Construction Signs Warn of Zombie Attack in Austin
Mark Wilson, Gizmodo, Jan 29 2009
"Who in their right mind would dare hack a construction sign with zombie warnings? Well, apparently some people in Austin—probably some pesky University of Texas students according to a local traffic controller..."
This story's been making the rounds of online media:
The best complaint letter ever?
Yahoo News UK, Jan 27, 2009
"This is a letter recently received by the Virgin Atlantic customer complaints team and is currently being hailed on news blogs, such as this one on The Telegraph as possibly the funniest customer complaint letter ever.
We called the Virgin Atlantic press office and they confirmed they received the letter and that Richard Branson himself called the author to thank him for the feedback."
Personally I don't consider this terribly funny - but what I was fascinated by was the photographs. I wouldn't have thought the author was serious until I looked at the photos and found that if anything the text wasn't descriptive enough. Certainly nothing in there looked appetizing.
Ugh.
Speaking of bad food - and that Cake site I already linked - I can't believe that I've somehow missed the links out there that glorify that most terrible cook, Sandra Lee. She's the host of the Food Network show "Semi-Homemade" (really, it's not a spoof/comedy show), and is known for using various canned and premade items, mixing them together, and then producing noxious looking foods that surely no one in their right mind would ever want to eat. Any time we've ever watched part of her show the result is always Jon and I howling at the television screen in disbelief and horror - and quickly changing the channel. Well, it appears that we're not the only ones with this kind of reaction to Lee. One recipe has had quite a bit of online angst result - the Kwanzaa Celebration cake. Here are two blogs pondering this mess. Note the dates on these indicate this cake has been festering online for some years:
Kwanzaa Celebration Cakestravaganza
Ultra Fine Flair (blog), November 30, 2006
"Now, in all my years of using the World Wide Web, I've seen some crazy shit - however, I don't think I've seen anything quite like Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa Celebration Cake. It's offensive and wrong on so many levels. For one, the recipe includes a store-bought angel food cake, corn nuts, and canned apple pie filling. Those things DO NOT GO TOGETHER."
Nobody Does it Like Sandra Lee
Liz is Working (blog), December 18, 2005
"...the Kwanzaa Celebration Cake. This is Sandra Lee at her best, making something utterly time consuming and disgusting, but ultimately really ugly, too! She starts off with the same angel food Bundt cake, but slices it into two layers. To a bowl of canned frosting, she adds cocoa, cinnamon, vanilla and mixes it up. As she proceeds to put the whole bowl’s worth on the bottom layer she assures us that “this is everyone’s favorite part, so use a lot! You can always make more!” After replacing the top layer and frosting the whole thing, she gets out a can of apple pie filling. At this point, J and I stop gagging enough to yell, "Nooo!" at the television. But it is too late; Sandra Lee has filled in the Bundt hole with glops of canned pie filling.
If you think she is done, then you are thinking this is merely a Hanukkah cake. No, people; THIS is a Kwanzaa Celebration Cake and the decorations are only just beginning. She pours a bowlful of shelled acorns over the whole cake, followed by handfuls of green pumpkin seeds. We are lucky because the online recipe has replaced the acorns with A PACKAGE OF CORN NUTS and added popcorn. So the ideal Kwanzaa Celebration Cake now holds Corn Nuts, popped popcorn, and pumpkin seeds. And the cake would not be complete without gigantic Kwanzaa candles, which she dutifully jams into the cake.
Here's what's the most fun of all.
No matter how much the Food Network would like to bury the many mistakes of Sandra Lee and have all of us forget them - the merry folk who cavort about the halls at YouTube will make sure that all of Sandra Lee's recipes will live on to haunt her. Er, at least they'd haunt her if you felt that she bothered to eat anything she ever cooks. Which I doubt.
Here is the video of that Kwanzaa episode:
I do NOT understand why she insists on calling the corn nuts acorns. If you watch the video on the Food Network page (better quality video there) you'll notice that it's a little longer than the YouTube version. In particular you'll notice that they don't show very much of Lee's reaction shot after she tastes the "delicious" cake.
If you check out the YouTube page with that video and then peruse the Related Links area you'll note that there are a LOT of Sandra Lee videos online. Because the show is a train wreck and apparently there are many viewers glued to the screen in similar disbelief that ANYONE would ever make/eat something like this cake.
Actually I should phrase that "cake."
Lest you think that the Kwanzaa cake itself might be a fluke, that there's no way this Lee character could do something quite that bad....well, this is close.
"It smells so good in here and I didn't have to bake a thing!"
Yes, the woman is proud that she didn't actually make the food she's mashing together.
*shakes head in disbelief*
Is it me or is she actually using about 3 inches deep frosting on that bottom layer?! And note how the various flavors of cake, frosting and candy don't really seem to matter - what's important here is building something that will look nice. Er "nice." Watch enough Sandra Lee and you'll quickly pick up on the fact it's never important whether anything tastes good or whether anyone would actually want to eat these creations. I wonder if her interns or production assistants dare each other to try a taste of this stuff once the cameras have stopped taping? Because you just know that no one is volunteering to take the leftovers home on this show.
If you think I've been harsh - go read some of the YouTube comments. Seriously, people REALLY enjoy hating this woman.
Now that I've lost my appetite, I think it's time to turn in for the evening...
...Later...
Because the Sandra Lee links just keep coming at me - here's a review of her cookbook from the New York Times:
Test Kitchen; Homemade Or Semi? A Bake-Off
By Amanda Hesser, New York Times, October 1, 2003
"...Ms. Lee calls this technique ''a new way of cooking.'' But it is not. Her approach merely underlines a way of cooking that is rapidly growing in American culture. While cake mixes and convenience foods have been around for decades, it is only recently that attitudes toward using them have shifted from embarrassment to allegiance.
...All of which can add up to a kind of faux-cooking. Ms. Lee's slant is no different, except that she is savvy: she has made it into a brand.
...And yet, who isn't lazy? If someone tells you often enough that you do not have time to shop at a good butcher or to measure a cup of flour, you may start to believe it. And that is just how Ms. Lee wins you over. Using the same strategy that has been so successful for the food industry, she seems more intent on encouraging people to create excuses for not cooking than on encouraging them to cook wholesome simple foods.
...Some of Ms. Lee's recipes are simply odd. In "Semi-Homemade Cooking," she gives a recipe for pesto, when so many decent prepared versions are available. In the recipe, she calls for fresh basil, but jarred garlic. In the same chapter, she offers a recipe for a hollandaise sauce made in a blender. So, rather than preparing it classically with simply a saucepan and a whisk, you have to wash your blender and all its parts. It leaves the reader wondering just how much cooking Ms. Lee has done."
Like I said, this is someone who's great fun to dislike. I'm not terribly knowledgable in cooking methods - but you don't have to be a gourmet to read or watch Lee and just KNOW that the resulting dishes will not taste good. I have no problem with whipping up something fast - heck, I still eat the nuclear orange Kraft mac and cheese from time to time and get nostalgic over it. But the point is that if you make it fast it will at least taste good. Or at least to you. Lee's recipes all sound like those free ones you see on cereal boxes and think "no one would really make Lucky Charms cookies."
...Except someone must be, right?
At least they must out in the land of the General Mills Lucky Charms Test Kitchen.
Actually I don't think people are cooking with Sandra Lee's recipes - I think they're all tuning in and watching just for the mocking ability. I also note there's another group watching that really could care less about her cooking and are there primarily to oogle her cleavage - they're kind of honest about this. (I'll not add any direct links, you folk can google to find each other.)
Further links to assure you that the Can't Stand Sandra Lee Fanclub is out there. Some of these blogs don't hate her with much intensity, but enjoy laughing at her anyway.
Nobody Blows It Like Sandra Lee
Reverend Spork, July 22, 2004
"As you have gathered, Lee is not a real cook. When I was in college, I whipped up classic college recipes like "Tuna Thrown Into Kraft Macaroni & Cheese" and "Diced Hot Dogs Thrown Into Kraft Macaroni & Cheese." This did not make me a "good cook," and I knew this even then. I only knew that, as someone who actually used his stove, I was a better-than-average college-age male when it came to preparing food. Loser that I am, however, I did not change the names of these recipes to "Cheesy Tuna Casserole" and "4th of July Firecracker Surprise" and get them published. That was Sandra Lee's destiny."
I Still Loathe Sandra Lee: February 2008
Joe DeSalazar, Foodie NYC
"...her recipe for "Chicken Scaloppini". I'm sorry, but this has to be the worst technically sound recipe I have seen in my life. She suggests that you should buy thinly sliced chicken breasts and braise them with a bouillon cube, Campbell's cream of asparagus soup, and frozen vegetables for 4 HOURS!!! ...If you are interested in joining me and telling the world how much you loathe Sandra Lee, simply make a braised dish in the anti-Sandra Lee method outlined above."
Part of a series at that blog called I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe.
Sandra Lee: Trick or Treat?
Armchair Cook, October 30, 2005
"Let's talk about Sandra Lee. She hosts Semi-Homemade Cooking, but it's really more like half-assed cooking. She looks like she may have once been a mean sorority sister (the University of Wisconsin is her alma mater). Her soon-to-be-ex-husband has more money than God.
I should hate her, right? Nope, I love Sandra Lee. Sandra is like your aunt who's been married 4 times and doesn't have any kids. She works in a salon and drives a convertible. She drinks a little too much and most of the family is embarrassed by her, but you always try to sit next to her at Christmas because she's the most interesting one at the table..."
Sandra Lee And Her Cans
TVGasm, November 24, 2005
""Semi-Homemade" means making simple and quick meals using crap you've bought at the supermarket and forgotten about in your pantries. She's the anti-Alton."
Semi-Homemade Cooking With Sandra Lee
Pith of Pop, Oct 19, 2004
"I think my main problem with Sandra is her presentation. A bit of context: Sandra is a bleached blonde who can't possibly eat any of her own creations because she wears approximately the same size as my six-year-old daughter. Her sets change for every show to match her outfit. She has seven or eight Kitchen Aid mixers that she never uses. Her husband is a very old real estate developer. She's probably never used an electrical kitchen appliance in her life and if she doesn't have a personal cook I'd be very surprised."
Thirteen Things about Food Network’s Aunt Sandy
Cooking by the Seat of My Pants, Jul 18th, 2007
"...I honestly believe Sandra Lee walks through her entire day in a drunken haze. On each and every episode, her viewers will go to the last commercial with this bobblehead’s mating call of: "And when we come back, it’s my favorite time of the day, It’s cocktail time!" And when I say cocktail, I’m not talking about your run of the mill girly-girl drink that you would expect from this vacuum-powered blond. These drinks would put a full grown man under a table in a snap, with ingredients lists that read something like "A half bottle of vodka, a half bottle of rum, and a splash of orange juice"."
Meanwhile, I know there's more Anti Sandra Ire out there - I just had to stop at this point. Only so many Lee recipes you can read about at one sitting after all. Ugh.
(I'm not even going to rant about how she's currently shilling her books to people with arthritis because her methods are more "easy" for them to create - when she's really just looking for another demographic to push the same bad recipes on. Honestly, there are tons of medical news sites - here's one example - now posting about her with copy-and-pasted text straight out of her agent's press release. Talk about distasteful. Note: I have family members with arthritis, and I honestly do know what's involved in more severe forms of the disability.
But ack, said I wouldn't rant...)
Because people keep wandering here from various searches for Sandra Lee I feel I should add a few more links. And besides, I'm still marveling at all this stuff myself.
Nastiest Kwanzaa Cake Ever
Neatorama, December 30, 2008
"...It would appear the hate mail about this cake was so numerous that Food Network pulled the recipe, but with a little digging you can still find it floating around. In case you have always dreamed of a corn nut-cake hybrid, the recipe is at the bottom of the post..."
Kwanzaa Cake by Sandra Lee and Other Edible Hate Crimes
Associated Content, December 10, 2007
"...The Star of David cake was so bad that people complained and Food Network took the recipe off the episode guide. But don't worry, the idiotic thing is still on the show. ...Now fill the hole of the angel food cake with, wait for it........marshmallows. The Queen of product placement (seriously, go look at one of her books), neglects to mention that you should look for marshmallows that are free of pork gelatin. Yes that's right, marshmallows are not Kosher...they contain gelatin and most readily available marshmallows are made with pork gelatin. So now cover this wonderful Star of David Cake (her episode guide calls it the Star of David cake, while her website calls it the Star of Hannukah) is inedible at a Jewish gathering, but let's move on to the frosting shall we?..."
No, Sandra Lee! Put Down the Cakes!
Manolo Brides, November 15th, 2008
"...And remember, if you’re buying two cakes and half a dozen cupcakes and a bunch of frosted sugar cookies in different designs, and what looks like Fruity Pebbles…really, it’s going to cost pretty much the same as just buying a regular grocery store celebratory cake, but it will never look like it did."
Thirteen More Things I Hate About Sandra Lee
Cooking By The Seat Of My Pants, Jan 23rd, 2008
"...I can’t discuss Sandra lee without taking a moment to mention the table settings she has dubbed “tablescapes”. ...While she has set up a few that even I liked, for the most part even her producers have to be wondering what the h@ll this woman was smoking when she came up with the idea for some of these impractical assemblies. Her use of unfinished fabrics doesn’t bother me, but plates set on pedestals at the table is not only ugly and nearly impossible to talk over, but so impractical that it should have been banned by the production staff, not featured on her show..."
Who Doesn’t Hate Sandra Lee?
Food Mayhem, February 18, 2008
"...this method of cooking is also very costly. If you’re trying to save time, you might as well just buy the food already made because you’re not saving money by cooking this way, at least not in Manhattan..."
Culinary Picks and Pans: Viewer's guide to food TV with Anthony Bourdain
Bret Federigan, MSN TV
"...MSN TV talked to Anthony Bourdain about the best and worst of food-related television. Here's our rundown of the picks and pans with the chef's freewheeling commentary." "Semi-Homemade Cooking With Sandra Lee" Anthony Bourdain: "She makes her audience feel good about themselves. You watch her on that show and you think, "I can do that. That's not intimidating." All you have to do is waddle into the kitchen, open a can of crap and spread it on some other crap that you bought at the supermarket. And then you've done something really special. The most terrifying thing I've seen is her making a Kwanzaa cake. Watch that clip and tell me your eyeballs don't burst into flames. It's a war crime on television. You'll scream."
This Cake Will Make Your Eyeballs Burst Into Flames
The Hater: Pop Culture Love Letters, March 16, 2009
"...For Sandra, the food is clearly an after-afterthought, which is why her recipes are always, "Buy a cake. Spread Cool Whip on top. Sprinkle gumdrops and crushed Cool Ranch Doritos on top. Done.""
Sandra Lee's Opus: The Infamous Kwanzaa Cake
The Food Paparazzi, January 16, 2009
"...It's one thing to make a suggestion like "Use canned beans." as a timesaver, but it's a whole other issue when you are actively encouraging people to refrain from using fresh ingredients. ...Lucky for all of us onehorseshy.com has created Kwanzaa shirts, mouse pads, greeting cards and many other awesome things. They've managed to take some good from this tragedy."
More snarkery found at the MetaFilter thread: Kwanzaa Cake (December 28, 2008). A sample: "...If you have never seen the show, Lee is known for her absurd "food shortcuts", but also, conversely, for her extremely complex, intricate, boozy and totally disgusting cocktails. While on one hand she lamely chops up some pre-roasted chicken with some Miracle Whip and declares it Coronation Chicken, she will take up half an episode concocting a Raspberry Creme White Coco Bourbon Angel Whisper Martini with confectioner's shavings and a coulee drizzle."
Do let me know if I'm missing anything even funnier.
And here's a link to the poster, just in case you wanted to frame instructions on how to create The Cake. I'm actually considering getting one of the shirts.
I suppose I should go back and reorder these by date but....nah. I'm nauseated enough after looking at all those cake pictures.
Enjoy!
...July 29, 2009...
Yes, I just keep having to add more. I figure if you've actually read all the way to the end of this you're enjoying all this too.
In a guest blog post (from February 08, 2007) on Michael Ruhlman's blog, Anthony Bourdain goes through a list of Food Network cooks and gives commentary:
...SANDRA LEE: Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained. I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What’s the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard? None that I can see. This is simply irresponsible programming. Its only possible use might be as a psychological warfare strategy against the resurgent Taliban--or dangerous insurgent groups. A large-racked blonde repeatedly urging Afghans and angry Iraqis to stuff themseles with fatty, processed American foods might be just the weapon we need to win the war on terror.
So I suppose the question will soon be - "Is Hating Sandra Lee Too Easy?" Along with "Do you really buy the new spin she's trying to get us to believe that she's an economical shopper/cook?" On that last one that's just what I'm getting from the show promos/ads - I admit, I'm still not even attempting to watch her show, except on the random YouTube clip.
