Where IS that Giant Armadillo? - 2010-03-03 23:01:39
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So someone apparently wandered into this blog searching for "lone star beer giant armadillo commercials." Which I had no clue I'd blogged about before, but over in this post about the Houston airport I did have a photo with an armadillo drinking a Lone Star beer. Which reminded me that I hadn't shared my own Lone Star beer image - which then reminded me that I need to take photos of more things around our house and blog about them. Just so that more folk will sympathize with poor Jon, who must live amongst such odd clutter. (And thus understand why I think he's so wonderful!)



This is my epic flea market San Antonio (Texas) find from back in the 80s, I think. I'm a bit hazy on the exact date, but it was my father who took me to this particular flea market. And saw that I talked the seller down to $12, which was probably a bit high even then. But I have a fondness for armadillo even now, and I still love this photo. Even though I'm pretty sure that that's a taxidermy armadillo holding that beer bottle. Once you've lived in Texas a while you end up seeing a lot of taxidermy armadillos. (Owning a photo of one makes me a lot less sad than owning an actual taxidermy dillo - yes, I'm that fond of the little critters.)

Anyway, for you folk who aren't from Texas, Lone Star was once a locally brewed beer. (Read that wikipedia link to find out about its brewing status today. The old brewery is still an interesting piece of architecture that exists in San Antonio.) But what locals really loved was the series of commercials that would reference a giant armadillo:



I've never seen many of the commercials myself, but I don't think viewers were ever shown the giant armadillo - only the after-effects of it.

I do think it's odd that the Lone Star wikipedia page makes no mention of the armadillo in the beer's advertising, as it was such a memorable part of the brand. (The current line: "In the '70s, Lone Star's sales benefited from a close association with Willie Nelson, the Austin music scene and their Giant Armadillo" really isn't an explanation.) Well at least for me anyway. At at least one other person who googled their way here.

Since I've come upon the topic of aramdillos, I suppose it's now the time to tell you my armadillo story.

At this point people who know me will moan and say "no, not that dillo story again" but I can't help myself. It's one of those "moments forever in my brain in a highly visual memory" things that make me gleeful.

Another bit of information for those of you from out of state - you often see a large number of armadillos dead on the highway in Texas and surrounding states. Once I used to be confused by that, then I read a National Geographic article about armadillos and things made a bit more sense. Armadillos bounce. Particularly when startled - boing! Right up in the air. And so, if a car or truck is bearing down on them, if they'd just hunker down then they might survive as the vehicle would pass right over them, harmlessly. But for those 'dillos that are startled and bounce up - well, I think you can see where a lot of the fatalities come in.

It helps that the armadillo article had a photo of a 'dillo mid-bounce. Not that I can quote date and month on the magazine, but it's out there in a database somewhere.

Anyway, I was out with my parents and cousins in the Hill Country outside of San Antonio. We were doing our usual "drive through the country and pull over when Batgrl is dying to take a photo" day trip type entertainment. After having a good meal of course. (Either that or after having finished the good meal - I forget which.) We'd pulled off at one of those Scenic View signs, which aren't always all that scenic. And while everyone was on one side of the highway (only a two lane, country road actually) I'd wandered to the other side to check out the sediment. (Yes, I'm a geology geek, show me some sediment and I can't keep away, I must root around in it a bit.) Suddenly I hear a "click click click" noise on the paved road.

You know the noise that a poodle makes on a linoleum floor? The "click click click" of its long nails against the surface? And how the clicking noise gets faster as the poodle (or any other small humorous dog of your choice) moves faster?

Apparently armadillos sound just like that on concrete.

This particular armadillo had bumbled down the hill, apparently focused on looking for insects, and then made its way onto the road. And here's another armadillo fact - they don't see very well at all. I was downwind, so it hadn't smelled me - but it was walking directly at me, making clickity-click noises as it moved.

Wait, let me show you a video of an armadillo, just so you can get a better idea of what I'm talking about. It's not the nine banded 'dillo I saw, but look at this little fellow and see what he looks like up close:



That gives you an idea of the cute factor going on with armadillos.
Now here's some video so you can watch how they move:



I'd like to point out that this also repeats my info on their jumping ability. Anyhow, note the long ears on the 'dillo in that second video - my 'dillo looked just like that. (Those ears are adorable, aren't they?)

Anyway - back to the story - so this 'dillo is bumbling along, headed straight for me. And my camera is broken, having jam'd earlier in the day. You can imagine the mental cursing I was doing for lack of a camera to document this. However my family on the other side of the road had an excellent view and was enjoying this highly.

I have no idea what the 'dillo would have done had it come up to me and I hadn't moved - I imagine it would have just snuffled my feet and then skittered around me and went on its merry way. Unfortunately the clickity clicking noise was just so poodle-on-linoleum - and unfortunately my brain was shouting at me "poodle nails! on linoleum! this is hysterical!" - and I couldn't help it, I snickered.

At the first sound I made the armadillo shot up several feet into the air. At which point I lost it, because that was even funnier.

And the best part - the armadillo had hopped in the air, spun itself around, and then was running down the road in the opposite direction - going clickity clickity clickity clickity.

It was a good thing there wasn't any traffic on the road at this time because I think I had to sit down because I was laughing so hard.

I think you'll understand why I remember this so well - and think of it as the top of my Moments When I Wish I'd Had a (Working) Camera.

I won't describe how earlier in the day I'd actually called out "wait" after a retreating armadillo whose photo I was trying to take zipped into some shrubbery. I look a lot more foolish in that story.

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